


this side of paradise

by jackneph



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester Reunion in Heaven, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Castiel's POV, Fix-It, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Season/Series 15, So much fluff!!!, Unrequited Love, but not actually unrequited, cas and jack father son bonding time, cas centric, cas is a pining gay who listens to mitski and im taking this headcanon to the grave, caskelly besties so true, this is a jack and cas lovemail account btw, ty jennie for editing this can i have your wisdom teeth now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:27:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27782215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackneph/pseuds/jackneph
Summary: Through the window is Dean Winchester, in all his beautiful glory, compassion, love, and humanity. Cas feels absolutely enamored in that moment, discovering that his feet are glued to the ground and his eyes are locked onto Dean’s face. He couldn’t determine what exactly made his face so mesmerizing—whether it be his freckles, his charming eyes, or his loving smile—but that didn’t matter.Dean is sogorgeous,and Cas is so hopelessly inlove.-or; dean is in heaven and cas is avoiding him because he’s a dumb gay who thinks dean doesn’t love him back
Relationships: Castiel & Jack Kline, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 23
Kudos: 312





	this side of paradise

**Author's Note:**

> a continuation of where the show left off, but from cas’s point of view !!
> 
> title from "[this side of paradise](https://open.spotify.com/track/3sgf2a905hjZ81tXYytY6i?si=r8VtRAQcSFyemijVDStQnw)" by coyote theory
> 
> Y YO A TÍ CAS LET’S GOOO

The Empty was loud. Castiel was lulled into an abrupt sleep and soon dragged out of it due to the gut-wrenching screams of dead angels and demons. The entity had no control over the chaos, until a light so bright lit up the shadows and made its way towards Castiel.

“Cas.” The young voice calls out. “I missed you so much.”

“Jack?” Cas asks, before being pulled into a tight hug. 

Jack buries his head in Cas’s shoulder, holding him in a loving embrace. Cas rubs soothing circles against his back to help calm him down.

“I’m taking you with me.” Jack exclaims as he pulls away from his father. He shoots him a toothy grin, filled with confidence and pride. “Sam and Dean.... we defeated God. So now we’re going to rebuild Heaven.”

* * *

Cas was back at full strength before he knew it; his wings were perfectly healed and his grace was considerably stronger than it was before. He had also earned a promotion from when he was last revived — a rank surpassing all of the other angels. 

From now on, he would live his life as a Seraph. 

Now in Heaven, a crowd of angels gathered around him and Jack. They listened to every word the nephilim had to say, akin to moths to a glowing light, their awestruck eyes focused onto their new God.

“We’re going to take down these walls, so everyone can live together freely. Human souls will not be confined to a memory anymore, but instead, they will create new memories with their loved ones.” Jack explains to the angels that stand before them.

Cas stares at Jack, adoration seeping into his soft gaze. He was different than when he last saw him. Jack was older and grown, though he still carried that childlike spark he had in his grin. 

Kelly was right about him. The day the baby in her belly had already shown Cas the future that he could create, he knew he had a new purpose to fulfill. _He was expected to father a nephilim._ Now that his child was finally grown, he had plans: restore Heaven, rebuild the angel alliances, and make Heaven a paradise on earth. 

“Let’s begin.” Jack says, and he turns toward Castiel who’s standing by his side. 

The white walls of Heaven start to crumble to the ground as the angels press their hands against the cold marble, grace seeping out of their palms and disintegrating the long hallway and every single door. Slowly but surely, people began to walk out of their memories from Heaven, lost and confused. 

Cas and Jack have work to do. 

* * *

When Cas wasn’t leading the other angels, he spends his remaining time thinking about Dean. It was a habit he picked up in the quiet moments Cas had to himself, when Sam and Dean were asleep and he was left in the bunker to wait for them until morning. He found himself daydreaming of being close to Dean, hugging him from behind, and resting his head on his shoulder while peppering his neck and jaw with soft kisses. He would hold his hand under the table when no one was looking, and kiss him when it was just the two of them. He would imagine waking up next to Dean, and even though he didn’t need sleep, Cas would still cherish the moments where Dean would let him hold him while he sleeps. 

But Cas knew that those were all just fantasies, illusions of his brain that served no purpose than to temporarily humor his desires. Realistically, Dean wanted nothing to do with him anyway. Cas wondered what Dean might think if he were to go down and visit him and Sam. How awkward would it feel to see someone who sacrificed themselves for you, someone who confessed their love and was presumed to be dead, but is actually alive? Cas couldn’t imagine how Dean must feel, and he didn’t want to. He knew it would only hurt him more. 

* * *

Dean Winchester was _dying_ and there was nothing Cas could do. Jack was persistent. No messing with humanity, no more messing with fate. What’s dying stays dying, and what’s dead cannot be brought back to life. 

Cas sobbed into Jack’s shoulder the very second Dean was pronounced dead. With a quick flap of his wings, Cas disappeared into the farthest corner of the endless Heaven. He hid and cried for days. 

Jack found him staring off into the distance, as he stood upon a familiar dock.

“Cas?” Jack asks.

Cas slowly turns around and shoots him a pained smile. “Jack.” He joins him on the dock.

After a beat. “Do you regret it? Sacrificing yourself to save him, I mean.”

“Never.” Cas doesn’t hesitate. “I would do it again and again.”

“Why?”

“Because I love him.”

Jack nods. “I know that. I can.... feel your love for him. And _see_ it. You love him in a different way than you love me and Sam. But you don’t think he feels the same way?”

“I know he doesn’t.”

Jack remains quiet.

Cas places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. “Let’s make this place something he’d look forward to.” 

Jack grins at his father, hope returning to his eyes. With the childish God and the risen angel, Heaven was going to be liberated in the way Cas had always wanted it to be. It was going to be the splitting image of a perfect Heaven for everyone, but especially for Dean.

* * *

Cas was trying to go unnoticed by the Roadhouse, but the bar was lively and crowded to his dismay. He tried to stay away from this side of Heaven — away from any chance of seeing _Dean_ — but he had orders to follow. If those orders involved him being here to monitor the outside of the bar, that was what he would do. Cas was starting to wonder if Jack had set him up, wanting him to finally confront Dean after all these years of avoiding him. The thing was that he _couldn’t_ see Dean yet. He didn’t want to hurt Dean anymore, so he figured that the best thing for him to do was to stay away.

Most of the crowd had been inside, so Cas remained unseen until he sensed a presence behind him. 

“Cas.” A gruff, old voice calls out.

“Bobby.”

“My boy’s been looking for you, you know.”

Cas nods slowly, his eyes nervously looking around the area. “I’ve been busy.”

Bobby huffs with his arms crossed. “You’re his best friend. The least you can do is give him the time of day.”

Cas frowns and speaks again. “He has Sam, and you, and everyone he missed. He’ll be fine.”

“No, I don’t think he is.” Bobby replies coldly. 

Cas turns to leave, preparing to whisk himself away with a quick flap of his wings, until he sees _him._

Through the window is Dean Winchester, in all his beautiful glory, compassion, love, and humanity. Cas feels absolutely enamored in that moment, discovering that his feet are glued to the ground and his eyes are locked onto Dean’s face. He couldn’t determine what exactly made his face so mesmerizing — whether it be his freckles, his charming eyes, or his loving smile — but that didn’t matter. 

Dean is so _gorgeous,_ and Cas is so hopelessly in _love_. 

He can’t stop staring and continues to watch Dean laugh at something Charlie says to him. Even just being able to stare at his back all day would be a privilege to the recently promoted Seraph.

Cas shakes his head and chastises himself. He has work to do. He has no time for longing. Jack brought him back for a reason, so he needs to make himself useful in some way. Cas disappears before Dean even gets the chance to make out who the figure in the distance could’ve been. 

* * *

“You can visit him, you know.”

“What?”

“Dean.” Jack says, as if it were obvious. “You can go see him.”

“Oh,” Cas mutters, looking at his son apprehensively. “I know that.”

“Then why haven’t you?” 

Cas chews at his lip, a human habit he picked up after years of his rugged soldier composure slowly cracked. “He’s at peace now. I wouldn’t want to disturb him by making him remember my death... remember the past.” 

“But don’t you feel it?” Jack presses. “The longing?”

Cas furrows his eyebrows and swallows the lump in his throat. “I’ve felt it since he arrived.”

* * *

Cas and Kelly enjoy each other’s company as friends. Most of their time together is spent walking along the beach, hand in hand, talking about Jack. Cas has even told Kelly the occasional story from his days before humanity even existed, although his memory is still hazy from Naomi’s several lobotomies. 

“Cas.” Kelly remarks with a grateful smile. “I never got to thank you for raising Jack.”

“It wasn’t just me.” Cas replies. “Sam and Dean helped — a lot. I was dead when Jack was born and it was him that brought me back, again and again.” 

Kelly purses her lips in frustration. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Cas. Jack _chose_ you to be his father. You _are_ his real father, to me and to him.”

Cas gives her a shy smile as they continue on their leisurely stroll. They stare off into the distance, as the soft glow of the sunset illuminates their tranquil faces.

Kelly’s hand tightens in his grip and she gives him a small smile, before letting go.

The waves come up to their bare feet, briefly brushing against their skin before the water sucks itself back into the vast, deep ocean. He hears Kelly let out a soft sigh, while watching the horizon.

“Do you like it here?” Cas asks.

“Yes, very much so.” Kelly says. “What about you? Are you happy?”

Cas thinks for a moment before responding. “I believe I am happy. I love my son, I love Sam and Dean, and I’m content just being here.”

Kelly looks at him curiously. “You don’t want _more?_ Something you can _have?_ ” 

He squints his eyes, “What are you…?” He shakes his head. “No, there’s no point.”

“Cas.” Kelly insists with a lighthearted laugh. “You can’t hide stuff from me. What’s on your mind?”

Cas rubs his hand down his face as he let out an exasperated groan. 

“Is it something to do with… Dean?”

Cas sharply whips his head in her direction. “Did Jack tell you?”

Kelly smiles smugly. “We talk.”

Cas sighs in defeat. “There’s nothing to say.”

Kelly grabs his arm, forcing him to face her. “Cas, why don’t you think you deserve to be happy?”

“I am happy.” Cas admits. “Or, happier than I was last time I worked for Heaven, being here just brings back bad memories. But even so, I believe in Jack and his plans to be a hands-off God. He is perfectly balanced with Amara anyway. But last time I was here, I hated myself so much to the point that I thought I… I thought I deserved to die for what I did to my brothers and sisters. But now I’m trying to forgive myself. I’ve finally learned how to love myself. But I still can’t face Dean, not now. I need more time.”

Kelly nods. “I get that. But, Cas, when the time does come, he _does_ want to see you, you know. He talks about you a lot at the Roadhouse.” Kelly changes her expression to one similar to Dean's. “‘One time Cas drank a whole row of shots like it was nothing. One time he threw a flaming cocktail at his brother and called him assbutt.’ He misses you, Cas.” 

Cas’s face warms and his chest starts to ache. _Be still, my beating heart,_ he commands.

“I miss him, too. But the last time we spoke, I left him in an awkward position. I don’t want to have to face him and make him uncomfortable.” 

“Cas, will you grow some balls already?” Kelly complains, her hands flailing at her sides.

Cas stares at her wide eyed.

“I mean, _seriously!_ You, what — became God once, then survived Purgatory for a year, but you can’t confront your crush because you’re embarrassed?”

Cas’s cheeks turn an impossibly darker shade of red. “H-How do you know all that?”

“Like I said, Dean talks about you. A lot.” Kelly explains. “So just grow a pair and talk to him!”

A quick _fwoosh_ and Cas is gone, the sand spiraling in the wind after his great escape.

* * *

It isn’t until a couple weeks later when Cas comes close to Dean again. He spots Sam and Dean from a distance, leaning against the impala, sharing a couple beers like they always would back on Earth. Cas smiles softly, and turns away. 

“Cas? Cas!” 

Cas freezes.

“Sam! Sammy, it’s Cas!”

He hears two sets of feet stomping in the dirt and making their way towards him. Cas turns at the touch of his shoulder, and it’s just like seeing him for the first time again.

His soul is as bright and beautiful as it was when he first dragged him out of Hell. He carries himself more poised now, with his shoulders confident and more self-assured. 

Dean’s eyes widen at the sight of him and crinkle softly. He lets out a laugh, a sigh, and pulls Cas in for the tightest hug they’ve ever shared. Cas wraps his arms around Dean’s waist while Dean tugs at the fabric of Cas’s trenchcoat, bringing him even closer. Dean’s fingers gently caress the hair on the back of his head and Cas lets out a soft breath, closing his eyes and breathing in his familiar, woodsy scent — exactly the way he remembers it. They sway slightly. 

He hates how his chest grows heavy at their closeness, even after all of this time. He wonders if Dean can feel how loud his heart is beating, and blushes in embarrassment. 

Cas pulls away first and Dean reluctantly lets go, his hand still lingering on his shoulder, still leaning into Cas’s personal space. And _oh,_ Cas gets the chance to truly look at Dean and appreciate the soft smile he missed, and his handsome face with his adorable freckles. He missed this. 

He missed _him_. 

“Man am I glad to see you.” Dean grins, his smile reaching the corners of his eyes and the dimples in his cheeks. He lifts a hand to Cas’s cheek and pats him playfully, before bringing his hand back down. 

Cas stares at Dean, whose face is bright and blushing. Dean must’ve been spending too much time outside, though he doubts Jack would’ve made it possible to get sunburned in Heaven.

“Hey, Cas.” Sam greets, and Cas turns toward the other Winchester with a smile and nod.

“Sam.”

Sam walks up to him and pulls him into a friendly hug. “We missed you, man.” Sam pats him on the back as they pull away.

“You did well. Both of you.” Cas praises the two of them, and shifts his eyes away from the burning gaze Dean is shooting at him. 

Dean opens his mouth to say something but then closes it, instead sharing a look with Sam as they start to communicate with their eyes. Cas tilts his head at them, wondering what the two of them are up to. 

Sam clears his throat. “I'm gonna go.... see if Ellen or Jo need any help back at the Roadhouse. Catch you later, Cas?”

“Yeah, yeah, we know you just want to see Eileen.” Dean smirks with a roll of his eyes. Sam huffs and remains silent.

“See you, Sam.” 

Sam makes his departure and leaves Cas and Dean alone with each other. Cas feels calm, like he always does when it’s just the two of them together. However, their dynamic has changed this time, and Cas is really hoping that Dean doesn’t think of him any differently. Despite the peace he feels around Dean, he is nervous about that. 

Dean shuffles his shoes closer to Cas, his hands in his pockets. He leans forward and back, teetering on his heels like a young kid. “Soooo…Cas.”

“Dean.” Cas says with a fond smile. Smiling always came easy around Dean. It used to frustrate him how simply being around Dean made Cas radiate with happiness, though he would tend to not to show it on the outside out of fear of scaring the other man away from his affections. He is in an unrequited love after all.

“I didn’t expect for you to be here so _soon_.” Cas remarks, his smile drooping into a frown. 

Dean shoots Cas a cocky grin. “Well I did defeat God and kill Hitler, I think that makes me pretty worthy of an early retirement.”

“Yet you still managed to die from tetanus? Did you not take your shot, Dean?” Cas asks, in a teasing tone.

“Ouch.” Dean jokingly winces with a smile. “You know, I would say ‘too soon’ but it has been 40 years since I’ve seen you. What’s up with that by the way?” Dean has a playful smile on his face, but his eyes reveal concern. “You don’t...regret—“

“Of course not.” Cas says without a second to spare. 

“Oh.” Dean says. “Then, do you still—“

“Yes.” Cas reddens and shoves his hands in his trenchcoat pocket. 

“You know.... I-“ Dean swallows thickly. “I listened to what you said. And I- I _believe_ you. I had the chance to kill Chuck but I _didn’t_ cuz I knew... I know that I’m not a killer. That’s not who I am.” 

“I’m glad you can see yourself the way I do — the way everyone does.” Cas corrects himself. He realizes that it’s a lot harder being honest about his feelings now that he can’t resort to any deathbed confessions.

Dean takes a step closer. “So I uh... I wanted to thank you. For everything. Really, Cas you -“ Dean ducks his head shyly. “You again and again, always looked out for me and Sam. You _saved_ me. And I never got to thank you for that. So just... just let me....”

Dean holds Cas’s shoulder with one hand and cups his cheek with the other. Cas’s breath hitches and his eyes widen with anticipation. Dean’s fingers graze gently over his cheek and he smiles softly. He leans in and kisses Cas sweetly, pressing his lips to the angel’s and putting every sentiment, every word he cannot say, into his actions. He pulls away to grab Cas’s chin and tilt his head, deepening the kiss. Cas’s lip quivers against his, but he slowly presses his lips back to reciprocate. 

Dean breaks away slowly with a soft sound and lets his hands drop down to his sides, taking in the angel’s flustered reaction. 

Cas stares at him, his cheeks blazing crimson. He asks quietly. “What was that for?”

Dean huffs and presses his hands against his forehead. “Are you serious? I just kissed you. I don’t kiss all my best friends, you know.”

Cas’s eyebrows screw in confusion but feelings of hope and wonder blossom in his chest. “What’s so special about me?”

“You’re different.” Dean echoes, words from Castiel, from years before.

Cas’s breath catches in his throat.

“I never thought that you...that _angels_ could feel the same way humans do. You know, I always thought you just loved me and Sam like you love your angel siblings. I didn’t know but... I know now. And I’m glad you told me.” Dean confesses. “Because I’m ready. I’m ready now. I was... I had a hard time getting over your death, and then my own death. I had plans to —“ Dean laughs dryly. “Get a job, and quit the hunting life once and for all. I wanted to live for you, you know. Cuz I know that’s what you’d tell me to do, what you’d want me to do. But then coming here and hearing that you were alive and working with Jack in Heaven made me so..... relieved. I thought you would come, you know, to see me. I waited for you. Why didn’t you come?”

Guilt gnaws at Cas’s heart. He speaks in a whisper. “I didn’t think you’d want to see me.”

Dean’s expression breaks. “You’re my best friend. Of _course_ I’d want to see you, always.”

Cas stays silent, unsure of what to say.

“I’m sorry, Cas, for making you feel like I don’t want you around. Because I do, and I always have. Everytime you left, I would try not to take it personally, but it frustrated me. And I would take it out on you in anger, in the only way I knew how. I’m sorry, Cas, you didn’t deserve that. I’m so sorry.”

Cas looks at Dean silently. Dean is staring back at him sincerely, his eyes are so green and serene, and his cheeks are glimmering in the golden sun.

“I forgive you, Dean. I trust you.” 

Dean takes Cas’s hand. “Will you stay?” Dean asks.

“With you? For eternity?” Cas’s eyes soften. _“Of course.”_

Dean presses a kiss to Cas’s hairline, so gentle and so loving. He bumps his forehead against Cas’s and kisses his lips gingerly, smiling against the angel’s matching grin. “I love you, Cas.” 

“Dean.” Cas says as he gazes into his eyes, with his own watering the same way they were the last time they spoke. But this time, there was no danger looming over them, no ruthless God to be destroyed and no ultimate destiny to be fulfilled. It was just Dean and Cas with Sam and Jack, and the family that they found along the way. 

“I know I kissed you before, but I didn’t do it right. Can I try again?” Cas asks mischievously, a playful smile tugging at his lips. 

Dean grins and he’s glowing pink. He nods against Cas’s cheek and they waste no time kissing again. Out of all the wonderful experiences the world has to offer, Cas has decided that there isn’t a better feeling than Dean’s lips against his. Cas is melting in Dean’s arms, and for the first time, he feels a thrill beyond compare. 

The two didn’t require words in order to explain the honest emotions they felt towards one another. Just gazing into each other’s eyes, basking in the presence of one another, and kissing like the world revolved around only them was enough to convey the message.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

* * *

They were all settled in a house that looked eerily similar to Bobby’s old one, with couches and a TV set. They were sitting on a couch that seemed to fit everyone in the room — Sam and Eileen and Jo and Charlie, Bobby and Ellen, with Kelly, Benny, Kevin, and Dean.

Cas was invited to join Dean and Sam and all their friends and family for a movie night. Cas still had duties as an angel, and Dean knew that, but he could spare time out of his day to spend it with his family. Jack would tell him about their infamous movie nights, how he enjoyed the cowboy ranger movies as much as Dean did, and how he wished that Cas could’ve been there. Now, Cas had a spot on the couch between Sam and Dean before Jack had even arrived.

“Hello.” Jack says with a wave of his hand. “I’m here for the ‘Star Wars.’”

“Jack.” Cas waves him over to sit on the couch between him and Sam.

“Who would’ve thought _God_ would be a fan of Star Wars?” Charlie says with a smirk. Dean playfully pushes her as she pretends to fall over. 

“No, no you don’t have to call me that. I’m Jack.” He replies with a childish grin.

“That’s my boy! Now come here, Jack. We got all the time in the world for this marathon.” Dean says. 

Well, not all the time in the world, as Cas and Jack were still building their perfect Heaven. However, with the other angels in charge of their respective sides of paradise, Heaven had started to seem like a truly orderly place. An orderly place that was different from last time, because now, there is _free_ _will_.

Dean glances at Cas and then back at the screen, sneakily snaking an arm over his shoulder and tugging him closer. Cas sees the redness dusting over his cheeks and feels his heart soar. 

“Are you comfortable?” Dean asks.

“Yes.” Cas says softly, resting his head on his shoulder, and taking his other hand to hold it. Their fingers intertwine, and Dean rubs Cas’s knuckles soothingly with his thumb, while placing his hands on his thigh. Cas’s touch starved heart aches at that. He’s staying with Dean, he’s holding his hand, and all he ever wanted is here. 

“Shh! Shhh!! The movie’s starting!” Jack says, and the other hushed voices in the room quiet down. At the opening credits, Jack is already mimicking a sword fight and swinging his arms while making whooshing sounds. Cas and Kelly share a knowing smile during his dramatic imitation.

Everyone is at peace, and for the first time in his life, Cas is learning to be more selfish with his desires. 

He is in a requited love after all. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> if you noticed the mitski references i am holding your hand rn :)
> 
> if you missed them, then give "[i will](https://open.spotify.com/track/0eYmkWPJqioxUgSh9pVzS5?si=w62XY8drTJqDqNGhTFZUfw)" and "[pink in the night](https://open.spotify.com/track/5Yb82JrDj09gQHQtjWgYYo?si=cGoZMufNQhOA33aKCby27w)" a listen !! 
> 
> yes i am putting my readers on with mitski hehe <3


End file.
